One of the key elements to a happy marriage is a good sex life. But what happens when you have a boring sex life or maybe it’s not even existent anymore. I’ve heard so many people say how great sex was before marriage.
Shouldn’t sex be even better after marriage?
I don’t know about you but sex life pre-marriage was kind of awkward at times. You aren’t 100% comfortable with the person and you don’t even know for sure where things are going.
Now, married sex is awesome! You are with the person you. You are bonding with your spouse on a deeper more intimate level.
Today, we are going to break down all those walls you have up about sex and turn that boring sex life into an amazing sex life.
Do You Have A Boring Sex Life?
Create a Sex Schedule
How long has it been since you were intimate with your spouse? Seriously, think about it for a minute.
When is the last time you were intimate with your spouse and truly enjoyed it?
Making love to our spouse should NOT be a chore! It should be something we look forward to.
My challenge to you is to create a schedule for sex. Now, I don’t mean you need to set a Google calendar alert or anything like that. However, make it a point to schedule time for intimacy.
If you truly don’t enjoy sex with your spouse or you don’t make love very often, I would try to have sex at least once per week.
If you do have sex with your spouse on a regular basis but don’t enjoy it, then I would aim for 2 to 3 times per week.
Sex is a healthy part of any relationship and it has been proven that the more you have sex the more you will want it. You kind of have to retrain your brain.
When we go long periods without making love to our spouse, it just ends up as the norm. Not having sex with your spouse is not the norm.
Communicate with Your Spouse
We all know that communication is key to a great marriage but it’s also important to a great sex life.
I think that sometimes we forget that our spouse is not a mind reader. Our spouse might not even know that we are bored with our sex life. Our spouse probably doesn’t even know why we have a boring sex life.
If things in the bedroom are too routine, let your spouse know. I’m sure he/she would be more than willing to try new ways to spice things ups.
If you have insecurities that carry over into the bedroom, talk to your spouse about those. The last thing you want is your spouse thinking that you don’t desire them anymore.
If communication is an issue, check out my workbook on improving your communication.
Make Your Marriage A Priority
Sometimes life gets busy with work, kids and everything else that we stop making our marriage a priority. When this happens intimacy is usually one of the first things to fall by the wayside.
Make it a point to make your marriage a priority!
Have regular date nights, have non-screen time together after the kids go to bed or even just lay in bed and chat before catching some z’s.
Create Sexual Tension
Creating sexual tension between each other is a sure fire way to ensure you don’t have a boring sex life.
Seriously think about this. Are there days when all you talk about with your spouse is the kids, bills, work and dinner? Are there days when you don’t even touch your spouse?
I know I’ve had this kind of day with my spouse and if I’m being honest, this kind of day doesn’t leave me wanting sex. It’s hard to go from busy busy all day to turned on if there has been zero intimacy throughout the day.
So how do you create that sexual tension if you are busy with a million other things? Easy! Send your spouse texts throughout the day that are borderline naughty. Take the time to kiss your spouse, rub his leg, kiss her neck or any other physical touch.
It only takes a few seconds to kiss your spouse goodbye or give them a quick rub on the leg (or butt)!
If you are touching throughout the day, texting (about more than the kids) then you are setting the stage for an awesome intimate evening!
I hope you enjoyed this post and I 100% believe that it will help you have a better sex life if YOU want a better sex life. Having a great sex life takes work and you have to be willing to put the work in.