When I was single and without responsibility, it was so easy for me to put myself first. In fact, I don’t remember a time when I didn’t come first. After getting married and having a few children, I slowly started to lose me. In fact, I remember the day when it hit me, that I truly didn’t know who I was anymore. I’ve learned that the best marriage tips is to put yourself first!
My husband and I were trying to decide what to do one Saturday afternoon. He kept rattling off suggestions and I was vetoing every suggestion he had. Finally, in an annoyed voice, he asked me “What makes you smile? What do you enjoy doing?”
At first I was annoyed! How could my husband not possibly know what makes me happy or know what my hobbies are? Then I realized besides taking care of my family and spending time on the internet, I didn’t really have any hobbies anymore.
What happened to me? What happened to the energetic girl that was up for anything?
She was lost.
Learning How to Put Yourself First
Remember, putting yourself first doesn’t make you a bad person. You are not a bad mom or a bad wife just because you take the time to take care of yourself. In fact, taking some time for yourself just might make you an even better wife or mom.
Here are a several tips to help you learn the art of putting yourself first.
Reconnect with Friends – If anyone can understand what you are going through as a woman…it’s your friends! Take some time out of your life and reconnect with your friends, keep those relationships strong and healthy. Yes, it’s great to hang out with our friends while the kids play on the playground but it isn’t the same as getting some good quality time with your girlfriends.
Keep Your Doctor Appointments – We rush our kids to the doctors for every little thing. We baby our husbands when they are sick. But we don’t focus on ourselves when we are feeling under the weather. News flash! Our health is just as important as our husbands and our childrens. If we don’t keep ourselves healthy how can we possibly keep up with the daily demands of being a wife and a mother? Let’s all make this a priority!
Enjoy a Spa Day – For a lot of women a fancy spa day just isn’t in the budget. I know that spending hundreds of dollars at a fancy spa isn’t in my budget! Good news! There are plenty of salons that are affordable. Every couple of months spend $20 to $50 and do something for yourself. Get a pedicure, massage, your hair colored or anything else that will make you feel good about yourself.
Take Up Exercising – What better way to take time for yourself than exercising? Some might be thinking, BORING! Obviously, this option isn’t the most exciting but it can do wonders for you. Exercising helps you take out aggression, gives you energy, keeps you healthy and makes you feel great about yourself!
Implement the 30 Minute Rule – This is a must in my life. Every day after my husband comes home from work, I take 30-minutes all to myself. I go into our bedroom, lay on the bed and watch one of my shows. Thirty minutes isn’t a long time, but it’s something that’s just for me. It helps me unwind from my day at home with the kids. It gives me the energy to get through the rest of the evening.
What do you do to make time for yourself?
I wish I could have a spa day! Lord knows I needs the rest and relaxation! 🙂
It’s on my list of things to do after Christmas! I need my hair colored, ASAP!
I think a lot of people think that putting yourself first makes you a bad person and that’s not the case! As I’m getting older I’m realizing that’s is perfectly fine to spoil and reward yourself every once in a while! Reward your hard work <3
Angelic Sinova recently posted…Family Game Night with CASHFLOW
Yes, we all need to reward ourselves! We deserve it.
Lots of wise tips in this article. Its easy to lose yourself and forget who you are when you’re constantly being distracted, even if those distractions make you happy.
Matt Lennox recently posted…Traffic Light That Lets You Play Pong With Another Pedestrian Installed In Germany
I’ve never really put myself first, I was a young single mom of one, my daughter was always worst.. while i was married.. same thing.. now that I’m a single mom of four.. same thing, haha.. However, slowly, I do, or when the kids go to their dad’s.. I get my “take a day off and be lazy” day.. or working out, that’s about as much as I got so far..
Natalie recently posted…Walmart & The Salvation’s Army’s Fill The Truck
I think women are wired to put others before themselves, so we have to work at prioritizing our me time. This is a great reminder!
Liz Mays recently posted…Cranberry and Vanilla Chip Cookies
The art of self care has been lost for me.. but it’s time I make some time for myself. Thank you for your post. It’s so important.
Nancy Johnson Horn recently posted…Adorable Gifts for Preschoolers from Skip Hop
I have always said to my readers always look after number one because in doing so you will be more happier and will be giving family and friends your absolute best without feeling like everyone is eating at you. These are great tips and great to have yourself back.
Myrabev recently posted…{Christmas Challenge} Outfits
It’s like this was written for me! Sometimes as moms, we completely forget about our own needs!
Echo recently posted…12 Gifts of Parenting…
All these tips sound really useful for my mom. Because she is always busy and tends to think of us first, she has no time to pamper herself and even reconnect with her friends.
Even super mom’s deserve a break. You should and really deserve some me time. You also need to grow yourself and your network apart from your family responsibilities.
Franc Ramon recently posted…The Classic Lacoste Pique Poloshirt in #Lacoste1212Watch Collection
You are so right — we tend to forget about putting ourselves first. Yet it is so important. Thanks for the reminder!
Penny Struebig recently posted…December Giveaway — Enter Now!
How interesting, it is very important to keep some “me time” . especially during the stressful holidays.
These are great ways to putting yourself first. It is so important we put aside time for ourselves if not daily than once a week.
I think this is something that every woman needs to do. I need to put myself first more often.
Cassie @ Southeast by Midwest recently posted…Cookie Swap: Dark Chocolate Espresso Cookies with Butterscotch Chips
You are so right. I am lucky in that my kids enjoy the kids club at my gym. I love being able to work out and knowing that they are having a good time with the other “regulars”.
Self care is so important. You’re able to function and take care of your family when you take care of you. Great tips!
Vashti (Veepeejay) recently posted…Easy Elegant Holiday Hair with Shea Moisture JBCO Collection
A lot of people tend to always look up to other people and not look to themselves if they are fine – this is a great reminder to all.
Aisha Kristine Chong recently posted…5 Random #Christmas #GiftIdeas for You and Your Loved Ones