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The Art of Putting Yourself First

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When I was single and without responsibility, it was so easy for me to put myself first. In fact, I don’t remember a time when I didn’t come first. After getting married and having a few children, I slowly started to lose me. In fact, I remember the day when it hit me, that I truly didn’t know who I was anymore. I’ve learned that the best marriage tips is to put yourself first!

My husband and I were trying to decide what to do one Saturday afternoon. He kept rattling off suggestions and I was vetoing every suggestion he had. Finally, in an annoyed voice, he asked me “What makes you smile? What do you enjoy doing?”

At first I was annoyed! How could my husband not possibly know what makes me happy or know what my hobbies are? Then I realized besides taking care of my family and spending time on the internet, I didn’t really have any hobbies anymore.

What happened to me? What happened to the energetic girl that was up for anything?

She was lost.

Let's make a pact to put ourselves first once in a while and not forget who we once were.

Learning How to Put Yourself First

Remember, putting yourself first doesn’t make you a bad person. You are not a bad mom or a bad wife just because you take the time to take care of yourself. In fact, taking some time for yourself just might make you an even better wife or mom.

Here are a several tips to help you learn the art of putting yourself first.

Reconnect with Friends – If anyone can understand what you are going through as a woman…it’s your friends! Take some time out of your life and reconnect with your friends, keep those relationships strong and healthy. Yes, it’s great to hang out with our friends while the kids play on the playground but it isn’t the same as getting some good quality time with your girlfriends.

Keep Your Doctor Appointments – We rush our kids to the doctors for every little thing. We baby our husbands when they are sick. But we don’t focus on ourselves when we are feeling under the weather. News flash! Our health is just as important as our husbands and our childrens. If we don’t keep ourselves healthy how can we possibly keep up with the daily demands of being a wife and a mother? Let’s all make this a priority!

Enjoy a Spa Day – For a lot of women a fancy spa day just isn’t in the budget. I know that spending hundreds of dollars at a fancy spa isn’t in my budget! Good news! There are plenty of salons that are affordable. Every couple of months spend $20 to $50 and do something for yourself. Get a pedicure, massage, your hair colored or anything else that will make you feel good about yourself.

Take Up Exercising – What better way to take time for yourself than exercising? Some might be thinking, BORING! Obviously, this option isn’t the most exciting but it can do wonders for you. Exercising helps you take out aggression, gives you energy, keeps you healthy and makes you feel great about yourself!

Implement the 30 Minute Rule – This is a must in my life. Every day after my husband comes home from work, I take 30-minutes all to myself. I go into our bedroom, lay on the bed and watch one of my shows. Thirty minutes isn’t a long time, but it’s something that’s just for me. It helps me unwind from my day at home with the kids. It gives me the energy to get through the rest of the evening.

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Sometimes our needs have to come before others and that's OK!

What do you do to make time for yourself?


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Friday 19th of May 2023

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Monday 13th of February 2023

I agree with your point of view, your article has given me a lot of help and benefited me a lot. Thanks. Hope you continue to write such excellent articles.

Aisha Kristine Chong

Thursday 18th of December 2014

A lot of people tend to always look up to other people and not look to themselves if they are fine - this is a great reminder to all.

Vashti (Veepeejay)

Wednesday 17th of December 2014

Self care is so important. You're able to function and take care of your family when you take care of you. Great tips!

Herchel A Scruggs

Wednesday 17th of December 2014

You are so right. I am lucky in that my kids enjoy the kids club at my gym. I love being able to work out and knowing that they are having a good time with the other "regulars".