It saddens me that there are parents putting crying kids to bed because they are getting bullied at school. There are parents who dread dropping their kids off at school every day because they know it’s another painful day for their child. What’s even worse is young children taking their own life because no-one knew how to stop bullying.
Recently a 12-year-old boy took his own life because he was being bullied. This is not acceptable! I can’t even imagine what his parents are going through right now.
This might strike a nerve with some parents, but I feel the need to state my opinion! If your child is a bully, chances are it is your fault! In my opinion bullying starts in the home. Thankfully, there are ways to fix this!
How to Stop Bullying
I hope these tips will help at least one parent that has a child bully in their home. If you know or have a feeling your child is being a bully, please don’t ignore the issue. Now is the time to take responsibility and fix the problem. You might be saving another child’s life.
Attention – Children of all ages need attention. When children don’t get they attention they need, they act out because any attention is better than none at all. Believe me, when I tell you that no matter how old your child is he or she needs attention from you. My children are 5, 9 and 17 and all three need attention in different ways.
Positive Reinforcement – All children are going to make mistakes, but it’s how the parents handle them that sets the example. When your child does something wrong, don’t yell at him or her, don’t degrade them and don’t hit them! Take time to talk to your child about why what they did was wrong and how they can fix it.
Set a Good Example – Believe it or not, our children watch and mimic the things we do. How you treat your server at dinner, how you handle the rude lady on the phone, how you handle drivers on the road who cut you off and anything else you say about people. When you set the example that everyone deserves respect your children will grow up knowing respect is not optional. You should also be very careful of the way you argue with your spouse. There should never ever be verbal our physical abuse. Your child needs to see adults work out their problems with healthy communication.
Give Your Child Affection – I will be the first to admit that I am not an overly affectionate person and neither is my teenage son. However, my two younger children are very affectionate so I make sure to fulfill that need for them. I’m always hugging them, telling them I love them, letting them snuggle with me on the couch while I get some work done and anything else they need. I mentioned that my teenage son is not affectionate, but this doesn’t mean I ignore him. I’ve learned what he needs and what he doesn’t need and make sure he always knows I love him.
Listen to Others – If someone tells you that your child was being mean, don’t sweep it under the rug. That thinking of “My child would never do that” is not going to help anyone! Be open to what others have to say about your child. Our children will sometimes act one way around us and another around their peers. If you have concerns don’t hesitate to reach out to your child’s teacher.
Watch for Signs – How does your child react when someone makes him or her mad? How do they treat animals? How do they act when their friends are over? How do they talk about people that are outside of their race, have a different sexual orientation or have disabilities?
Talk to your kids about bullying. This book (affiliate) is a really good one to get the topic started! Confessions of a former bully!
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