Have you ever wondered if your spouse is having an affair? I think at some point we have all had to ask this question. Sometimes, it’s our mind playing tricks on us and other times there is truly something to be worried about. The signs of infidelity aren’t always obvious but today we are going to talk about some of the signs you should be looking for.
This post will have signs for both the wife and husband as infidelity can happen with either spouse.
Signs Your Spouse is Cheating On You
1) You find birth-control pills or condoms when they are not used in your marriage.
2) Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. They might stop dropping hints or acting as if they no longer like your spouse.
3) Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and starts acting secretive.
4) You find a new email or social media accounts.
5) Your husband often comes home smelling like perfume that isn’t yours. Keep in mind you shouldn’t always jump to conclusions, sometimes it can be from a colleague that works close by.
6) He or she starts making major life changes.
7) He or she buys a new cell phone that is kept secret from you.
8) Sets up new credit cards that are sent to the office or another location.
9) Starts deleting phone calls and text conversations.
10) Deletes e-mails when they used to just let them sit in their email account.
11) Becomes defensive when you ask questions, this usually happens out of guilt.
12) Starts asking hypothetical questions, things like “Do you think you can love more than one person at a time?”
13) He no longer wants toys, kid snacks or the car seat in his car.
14) Stops wearing the wedding ring.
15) Suddenly has an interest in trying new techniques in the bedroom.
16) Has unexplained marks or scratches on his/her neck or back.
17) Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.
18) Your spouse is extremely protective of his/her phone and/or computer.
19) No longer wants to have sex with you.
20) Suddenly starts working a lot of overtime, but there is no proof of said overtime.
21) Picks a fight for no reason and then leaves the house.
22) Starts taking vacation or sick days from work but doesn’t tell you.
23) Your spouse doesn’t want to take you to work functions.
24) Suddenly cares more about his/her appearance than previously.
25) Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially when you are not around.
26) Your spouse starts taking more overnight work trips than previously.
27) You start seeing make-up or lipstick on your husband’s clothing.
28) You notice more money missing from your bank account than usual.
29) You find intimate apparel or other small gifts that you did not give your spouse.
30) Your spouse seems to be on edge and is easy to anger.
31) He or she is no longer interested in the activities in the home.
32) You have a strong gut feeling that something isn’t right.
33) Uses a low voice or hangs up phone calls quickly when you enter the room.
34) Makes up excuses to leave the house during the evenings.
35) Is more protective of personal items like purse or wallet.
36) Says they are going to run a quick errand and is gone for several hours.
Now keep in mind that none of the above are proof that your spouse is cheating on you. However, if you do suspect that your spouse is being unfaithful it’s best to just ask them. Digging through their phone, spying on them or any other behavior is likely to make the situation worse.
If you do find out that your spouse is cheating, you’ll have to make some pretty hard decisions.
You can choose to leave your spouse and file for divorce or you can stay and try to work things out.
Before you can make a decision, your spouse will need to decide if they are willing to end their affair. Do they regret it? Do they want to make their marriage work? These are all questions you’ll need to discuss with your spouse.
I can not tell you what you should do but I do believe you’ll need to have a pretty honest and hard talk with your spouse.
If you decide to stay and make your marriage work, you should look into getting professional help. There are going to be a ton of trust issues you are going to need to work through. You’ll also need to decide how much detail from the affair you want.
For some people having all of the details helps them understand why their spouse had an affair. For others, having details makes it hard to get over the affair.
No matter what you decide to do, remember that the affair is NOT your fault! Your spouse needs to take 100% responsibility for their actions. If your spouse puts the blame on you, take that as a red flag and you might want to rethink your decision to stay.
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